Life According to lights

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Location: Middle of Nowhere, Northern Ontario, Canada

Saturday, March 20

Adventures in Dating...Chapter Two: Guys Don't Talk

Who knew that the latest chapter would come along so quickly. So this week I was contacted on MSN by a guy that I'd first heard from last summer. We'd chatted off and on for a few months before I met him for a coffee last September. He seemed nice enough but I didn't really think there was any potential with him. When he said hello this week he asked if I was interested in meeting for coffee again. I wasn't really sure if I should seeing as I didn't see potential but thought it is just a harm in that.

He had asked about meeting for coffee a few other times and said he'd call but never did so I said that to him. He suggested 8pm Thursday night. I quickly checked to make sure Survivor wasn't on and then said okay. After I agreed he didn't say anything. I waited for him to chat but nothing popped up on my screen. Eventually I typed that he was awfully quiet tonight and that I hoped he was more talkative when we met for coffee. His reply was that "girls talk...guys don't talk". I wasn't quite sure how to answer that one but wrote back that girls like when guys talk. At this point I was trying to figure a way out of the coffee date.

He didn't reply for a bit and I could almost picture this non-talking guy trying to figure out what he could talk about. Apparently this was the best he could do. His response was that he sold his snowmobile and didn't get paid for it. Because he had made an effort I tried to make an effort too. I said, "well that sucks, why didn't you get paid for it?" What came next floored me. He said that the guy who bought it paid him part of the money but still owed him about $200 so he went to the guy's house and demanded the money saying that if he didn't get it he'd KILL him! He said the guy called the police and they came but didn't do anything other than tell him to stay away from the guy.

When I finally got past the initial shock I had a couple thoughts. 1. No way in hell am I meeting him for coffee. 2. How do I reply to THAT? and 3. Sometimes guys really shouldn't talk. I told him that I was now pretty nervous about meeting someone for coffee who made death threats over $200. He responded by going offline without saying anything. Guess he was back to not talking again. A few minutes later he signed back on and sent a message that wished me good luck and that he was deleting me. My thoughts? 1. You're deleting ME? Somehow I don't meet YOUR standards now? 2. You can't delete me...I'm deleting you first. 3. Now I understand why some guys don't talk. After deleting and blocking him I sat and laughed thinking that maybe it was time to give up the online dating thing for now but there are still a couple "irons in the fire" so there may be a couple more chapters coming soon. LOL!

Saturday, March 13

Adventures in Dating....Chapter One: Bad Cop

Buggy made me do it!

It's been over a year since I wrote anything here but I think it's time to dust off the blog because I seem to have some stories to tell now that I've entered the dating world. What a long strange trip it's been.

I think most of you are aware of the change in my marital status since I last posted here. Dusterboy and I separated after 30 years and for the first time in my life I'm dating. Who knew that dating would be such an adventure.

The latest chapter in my dating life came to an abrupt end yesterday. I met "Bad Cop" on a dating website. He contacted me at the beginning of February shortly after I had broken up with "Mr. Perfect" (which is another blog for another day). Bad Cop is 44, single, never married, no kids. That alone should have been my first clue. He lives in Toronto and has a camp up here where he said he planned to move in a couple years when he retires. His job now is a desk job but he spent 20 years on the road as a cop in Toronto. We talked online, on the phone and texted each other for over a month before finally meeting in person last Friday.

We were both very excited about his week of vacation that he was spending up here. Plans were made to meet on Friday at his camp. I had gone out there the previous weekend to check it out before agreeing to meet him there and felt comfortable about it. My friends and family? Not so much. Friday night finally arrived and the big moment was upon us. There were a lot of laughs and plenty of sparks. He had made dinner and had country music playing for me...candles, wine and it was a great date. As luck would have it I had to leave for Toronto the next morning to attend my cousin's 25th anniversary party so I had to be up early the next morning. We talked and had a few drinks and danced in front of the fireplace until very early in the morning when I had to go home.

We texted each other all weekend while I was in Toronto and I couldn't wait to get home Sunday night because the plan was for me to go back out there for dinner when I got back. I got home Sunday night around 4:30 and was back to his place by 6pm. He was drinking rum when I got there but I kept thinking, he's on big deal. It was my turn to cook and we had another nice dinner with wine and then watched the Academy Awards together. He had a couple beer while we watched tv. He told me how much he missed me while I was gone and that he couldn't wait to get moved up here and build his retirement house....adding that he would love to share it with me. I had to work in the morning so I left after midnight to try and get some much needed sleep.

Monday we talked on the phone and he said that he wasn't feeling well. I joked that I hoped it wasn't my cooking and he assured me it wasn't. He thought he'd caught a flu bug and I hoped that I wouldn't get it too. We didn't see each other Monday but we talked online and made plans for me to go out to his place again Tuesday night. He had filled up the hot tub and said he'd cook a roast for dinner. His internet connection died on him and I never heard back from him so I decided to just show up Tuesday night and hope that the plans were still in place.

He was sitting on the deck waiting for me on Tuesday when I got there. He said he still wasn't feeling all that well but that he'd be okay. We walked down to the ice hut on the lake where I met his friend/neighbor. I had come directly from work so he gave me a pair of his boots and a coat to wear because my little boots and leather jacket weren't really appropriate for walking on the lake. I was swimming around inside his rather large boots and coat and I'm glad there was no camera present. The neighbor and his wife were having major marriage problems which were discussed in front of me. After visiting for a bit we headed back to his place for dinner. He opened a bottle of wine with dinner and he drank most of it during the evening. We sat in the hot tub outside under a star-filled night for a couple hours. It was a very romantic setting and things seemed to be going really well between us. Unfortunately, I had to work in the morning so I had to leave around 11pm. He had to take his icehut off the lake the next day so he was going to be busy but we made plans to get together Thursday night. He would come to my place for dinner and then come watch me play volleyball at 8pm.

Wednesday afternoon we spoke again. He said he was still sick and feeling even worse. Said that he spent most of the day in bed. Not sure if he even got the hut off the lake. I spent the evening getting things ready for dinner the next night. Thursday morning I called him to see how he was feeling and he said that he was feeling really crappy and that he wanted to see a doctor. I made some calls to find a walk in clinic he could go to and called him back with a number. He called me back to say he had an appointment at 5. I asked him to stop by my apartment before his appointment and we'd make plans from there. He agreed and said he'd see me at 4:15 when I got home from work. That was just before noon.

I got home from work and waited....and waited.....and waited. I sent him a text, no reply. I called his place, no answer. Went to volleyball and still not word from him. By the time I got home from volleyball at 9pm I was getting very worried. I had visions of him being in the hospital or worse. My first instinct was to drive out to his camp and check on him but I thought that might not be the best idea going out there alone so late. My Mom would have heart failure at the thought. So I went to bed and tried to sleep. I had made arrangements at work that I might take Friday off to spend the day with him seeing as he would be heading back to Toronto on Sunday. I barely slept.

Woke up at 5am and still no word so I showered and dressed and decided to drive out there. I stopped and picked up some muffins thinking he might want something to eat. While I was driving out there my imagination was running wild. Was I going to discover a dead body? Would he be in bed with some woman? Would he think I was an intruder and shoot me? Ya, I've got a vivid imagination. When I pulled in his driveway his vehicle was there. His snowmachine was sitting in the yard and there were fresh tracks in the yard. I thought that was strange seeing as it hadn't been out on Tuesday when I left and he said he was sick in bed for the past two days.

I went to the door and called out his name while knocking. I may have even ducked slightly in case the bullets started flying. There was no response so I went inside and continued calling out to him. I found him in his bedroom....naked....damn, he has a great body. *sigh* Sorry, got lost in thought there for a minute. He wasn't moving at first and I was afraid that my vivid imagination wasn't so far off the mark but then he began to stir. Phewww! Relief filled me. I sat down on the edge of the bed and asked him if he was okay....told him i was very worried about him. He was totally incoherent in his answers. He started saying something about Demerol. I had no idea what he was saying so I asked him if he took Demerol. He said that nobody told him it would make him so sleepy. I questioned why he had taken Demerol for an upset stomach and he answered that I had told him to. I said that I had told him to take GRAVOL, no Demerol! He said, ya....that's what I meant.

I was somewhat relieved that he hadn't taken Demerol but was still trying to figure out why he was so incoherent. He seemed totally out of it. I asked how he was feeling and he said he was still feeling crappy. His stomach was making noises like it had been on Tuesday. I asked him what the doctor said and he mumbled that he slept all afternoon and missed the appointment. I asked him why he didn't return my calls and said that I was very worried when I didn't hear from him. He started snoring. I asked him if he wanted anything, that I had brought him some muffins if he wanted to try eating. He asked for water. When I went to the kitchen to get him water I found about 8 empty pop cans and an empty bottle of Captain Morgan's. Suddenly all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place.

I went back into the bedroom and asked him if he'd had anything to drink while he sipped on the water. He said "not as much as you'd think". Still not sure what that was supposed to mean. He then said that the neighbor lady had come over last night to cry on his shoulder. I told him that I had made arrangements to take the day off to spend with him and asked if he was going to wake up soon. It was after 7am and if he'd been sleeping for as many hours as he lead me to believe he should be awake. Even a couple gravol wouldn't lay a 6', 205 lb man out for THAT long! He kept falling asleep and I had to ask him again if I should just go to work or if he wanted me to stay to take care of him. He said he needed to sleep another 4 hours at least. At this point I didn't know what to do. I went out to the sunroom and drank my hot chocolate and tried to think. I decided that this was ridiculous....I had to leave. I went back in and told him I was leaving. Said that he should call me later and let me know how he was. It's now very early Sunday morning and I still haven't heard from him.

Bad news? It didn't work out between us. Good news? I found out before it went too far. With each new dating experience I learn. What I learned from this one is to trust my gut. Friday night I thought he was drinking quite a bit but I wrote it off as his first night of vacation and maybe some nerves about our first meeting. Sunday? He drank three different kinds of alcohol while I was there. That reminded me of an old friend who used to drink whatever was available....he was an alcoholic. Even on Tuesday when he said his stomach was upset....he still drank. I had a feeling he was drinking too much but I may have dismissed it because everything else about this guy was so good. From now on I'll try to listen to my gut.

PS: I've missed you all. Yes, even you. *grin*

Wednesday, December 17

We Adopted a Family!

I think I may have finally found some Christmas spirit! My family ~ Mom & Dad, sister and her family, and us ~ are adopting a single mom and her two young sons this year. We're bringing Christmas to them and I couldn't be more excited.

My sister works for Children's Aid and when she emailed me the details about the family I sat in my office and cried. I'm more excited about buying for them than for my own family...mostly because nobody in my family is in dire need of anything.

While shopping tonight I found a silver angel ornament that says "Believe" on it. Also picked up a Jenga game, some Blistex Silk & Shine, and some Sponge Bob Bandaids. I'm going out again tomorrow to buy more stuff. My sister bought a little baby sleigh because the mom walks the 9 year old to school every morning and was trying to push a stroller through the snow. We're going to fill the sleigh up with things and then wrap presents for each of them. Then we'll likely buy her some grocery store gift cards. Any other ideas? We have to have this ready for Monday.

Wednesday, December 3

Incredibly Sad PSA...

I work with Tom Sr., the father and grandfather of those who died. Please make sure you have a working carbon monoxide detector on every floor of your home. If you're stuck for a gift? Give someone a detector.

I don't know how Tom and his family are going to get through this.

Sunday, November 23

Holly is a Bonehead

She has developed this weird habit of needing permission to jump up on the footrest of the lazyboy chair when I'm in it. As soon as I sit down she comes running and wants up. I can't sit in the chair without reclining because she needs her spot. But she can't just come over and jump up...she has to sit in front of it and sneeze and bark until I "invite" her to come up. The invitation involves me saying okay and tapping the arm of the chair. *rolls eyes*

More Holly weirdness? When she comes in to get up on my bed, she will only jump up on it in one spot. If there are cords from my laptop on the floor at that spot she'll sit and whine because she can't get up. *shakes head*

She had another seizure last week. The vet isn't overly concerned. She had bloodwork on Thursday and we'll probably have to increase her meds when we get results. She's also gained some weight. She's 5.3kg now. Up from 4.9kg. She's such a little porker. This picture was taken a few months ago. There's no green grass showing at the moment.

Wednesday, November 12

What's new you ask?

1. I'm staying at my sister's house until Friday while she's away. For the next two days I get to play Mommy to my 17 year old nephew and 14 year old niece. Woohoo! Actually, I'm having fun with them. Matt and I were just messaging each other. He's downstairs on his computer and Sara and I are upstairs replying to him on my laptop. *giggle*

2. Any word on OT? It sucks that I have wireless high speed and no OT. *pout*

3. Dusterboy and I have now been married for 3 entire decades. *groan* I feel so effing ancient. He sent me the most beautiful flower arrangement last week and it made the entire office smell like a funeral home. *snort* Who knew lillies were so fragrant?

4. My anniversary surprise for Dusterboy was a hotel room last Friday night after work, then dinner out with people from work and then a night at the bar listening to one of my co-worker's band. Then the next morning we were going to meet up with friends and go to Sudbury for shopping and Red Lobster. Unfortunately, Dusterboy was too hungover on Saturday morning so I ended up going with our friends while he went home. *rolls eyes* He topped that off with a speeding ticket on the way home last night. $115 Grrrr!

5. Looks like Dusterboy's family is all coming to my house for Christmas Eve this year. Sure hope I don't have to work that day. They'll come up in the afternoon, have dinner, and then head home that night. We'll come to North Bay to my sister's house on Christmas morning.

6. My niece has been sitting here watching me type. I told her to find something to do so she pulled out her MP3 player and tried to show me some video clip of singing bread and vegetables. I think it was from Sesame Street. She's weird.

7. Tomorrow I have my 6 month appointment with the eye specialist where they dialate my eyes and I'm not supposed to drive. Niece has another volleyball practice at 6pm so I'll have to drive. Good thing it will be dark by then. They're down to 14 girls and he's cutting two more. Keep your fingers crossed for her!

8. I thought I sprained my finger last night at volleyball but it turns out it wasn't. I was so freakin' tired last night I could barely move and forget about jumping to hit. Been having some sleeping issues lately. Six hours a night just isn't enough but my body seems to think that's all it requires.

9. Just came back from the kitchen with a bowl full of Doritos. My niece wasn't impressed that I waited to open the bag until she had brushed her teeth before bed. *snort* I thought it was hilarious.

10. Is it wrong that I was happy that Dusterboy decided to stay home instead of coming to babysit with me? Last week so many people asked me how many years I'd been married when they saw my Happy Anniversary flowers. When I told them 30 years, they said that I should be proud because people just don't stay married for that long anymore. After this past week I can understand why. *sigh*

Monday, October 20

My bird is sleeping...

On Saturday we had a few friends over for a 4 wheeler ride. It was the first time one of my girlfriends had ever been on a 4 wheeler and she LOVED it. We left our house and headed up to the tower (where I took Carey and Breezy last fall). We took some drinks with us and had a really fun day. The second stop was at a camp on the Ottawa River and the third stop was at a remote lake.

It was at this third stop that we met up with a guy who was out partridge hunting with his Dad and two daughters. The girls were sooooo freakin' cute. They were 7 and 3 and had long blonde curly hair. They wore hunter orange fleece and were having a blast. The 7 year old was walking around carrying a dead partridge and cradling it in her arms like a puppy. The partridge's head was flopping around and she's gently pick it up and reposition it as she petted it. She told my friend that her bird was sleeping. *snort* We had had a couple drinks by this point and had a lot of trouble keeping our giggles on the inside.

Can you say redneck?