A Conundrum...
What to do? Situation is as follows. We've been planning to spend New Year's Eve at the cottage with two other couples (each bringing one 12 yr old child). That makes eight people. We have beds for six and a couch and love seat for the kids. Sounds good so far huh?
Saturday night I hosted my annual "Friends" Christmas dinner. The two couples who are coming for NYE were here as well as two other couples. One of the couples (the birthday girl and her 911 calling hubby) brought up the topic of NYE plans. The two couples that are coming to the cottage spent last NYE with 911/birthday girl and decided they wanted to come to the cottage this year. I didn't invite 911/bgirl for NYE because of space restrictions. It's just too crowded during the winter when you have to carry water, pile snowsuits and boots, use a porta-pottie, and have firewood stacked inside. During the summer it's no problem to have more people around.
So bgirl brings up NYE and asks the other two couples (not me) what THEY'RE doing for NYs. They looked a little uncomfortable but replied that they were spending it at the cottage with us. Bgirl didn't say much right away and I was busy getting the turkey dinner ready. A few minutes later she came into the kitchen and asked if it was okay if her and 911 came to the cottage too. They never go anywhere without their 15 yr old son (had to specifically tell her that it was an adults only dinner and even then she wanted to bring him). I said that it would be okay but that they'd have to bring an air matress and find space on the floor to sleep because the beds were all filled. Then she laid the bombshell on me and told me that her whole family would come. And not only her two teenage daughters, but their freaking boyfriends too!!! That's SEVEN more people! I told her that I didn't think we'd have room for everyone and she just went on saying they'd make room on the floor.
I was in the middle of serving dinner and didn't need a dramafest so I just said that we could try. All night I was inwardly fuming about this. Sunday morning I woke up and immediately thought about this and got so pissed off that I couldn't get back to sleep. It's not just finding floor space for sleeping, it's having enough room for everything we need for winter cottaging.
1. Do you think she was rude to invite herself...AND her entire family?
2. Would I be rude to call her back and tell her that there just isn't room for her whole family?
3. What would you do?
On top of the inviting herself thing, she was particularily annoying all night. She started talking about how people who don't attend church services but say they're religious are hypocritical and how she was told by her chiropractor that she's too petite to work. *rolls eyes*
Her hubby is a sweetheart and everyone loves him but I'm getting to the point where I can barely stand to be in the same room with her. I'm considering telling her that they can have the cottage for NYs and I'll just stay home.
Help me o wise ones of blogland!
posted by lights | 5:56 p.m.
20 Comments:
Phone her back and tell her you have decided it is just too crowded to add so many people. Reschedule her for next summer when they can bring their own tent or something.
No way in bloody hell should she feel entitled to invite her son, two daughters AND their boyfriends to your occasion!!! That is just plain ridiculous! Not to mention overload on one porta-potty.
*stamps her feet at people taking advantage of dear Lightsie*
What Swami said.
Ditto what Swami said. It's your cottage, it's your gathering. You do the inviting. It's not rude at all for you to tell her there's just not enough space. Sheesh!
*stands beside Swami and stamps feet*
Ditto what Swami said, and call her now! If you haven't already. That was extremely rude of her to ask and then invite her whole family.
It was rude of her and I would not even hesitate to call her back and uninvite her. If you want, give me her number and I WILL call her.
If it makes it easier, say something like "but we'd love to have you all another time, when it would be more comfortable for YOU too"...that way you won't feel too bad about uninviting her. FTR, *I* don't think you should feel bad at all, but if you're anything like me, making that call will be hard, regardless.
Good luck! And defintely UNinvite them!
Thanks ladies. I feel the same way and after talking to my other girlfriend this morning I'm going to make the call. One of the couples that was originally invited might not come if the 911 family comes. MM, you're right. It's not going to be a comfortable call but I know I have to do it and if she's offended then so be it.
Can I just push Swami's easy button?
I'm off to a spa night in a few minutes. My girlfriend won it for her and three friends. We're getting facials, foot massages and hand treatments. I've never had any of the above. Will have a full report as soon as I get a minute tomorrow.
*hugs wise bloggy friends*
Please tell me what exactly "too petite to work" means. Because I might need to use that one.
And I agree with Swami, et al.
Obviously, "too petite to work" refers to her brain.
LMAO at Swami
So? How was the spa?
What news, Horatio?
I hope you called and told her that Quebec doesn't want her and her freeloading butt.
OMG-HOW RUDE!!!! I agree a phone call would be best. An alternative if you aren't set on being at the cottage: "There are too many people for the cottage in the winter. Do you have a better idea for a location?"
However, if you want to be at the cottage, keep it there and uninvite the self-inviters.
Good thing you had the spa day.
Report!
Report!
Report!
Okay!
Okay!
Okay!
I'm working on it! *grin*
*snort* Swami, may I quote you on the brain thing?
While I really loved the idea of telling her that Quebec didn't want her and her freeloading butt, I decided that I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings so I made my list of points today at work and got myself all psyched up with a little nip of Southern before making the call.
I started by saying that I wanted to talk to her about New Year's Eve and that she had caught me offguard on Saturday night because I was under the impression that they were going out for NYs. Then I told her that I hadn't originally asked them to join us because we already have 10 (two more kids are joining us now) and that during the winter there just simply isn't room for more than that.
That's about as far as I got before she said, "That's okay, we talked about it and we've decided to go out and we've already bought our tickets for a party."
Well crap. I didn't even get to use points 3 through 7. What a let down. *grin* I worked so hard on my speech and just like that she blew it all to hell. Oh well, at least it wasn't painful.
She did sound kind of hurt. I had to read between the lines but she told me that one of the other couples that is coming to the cottage had said they were going out with them again this year. The other couple has been telling me ever since last New Year's Day (after going out with 911 couple last NYs) that this year they wanted to spend it at the cottage with us.
At least the uninvite has been completed. If she's upset with us I think she needs to look inside instead of placing blame. But that may be difficult for someone with a petite brain. *snort*
I called one of the other couples to let her know that the deed was done and that we were back to just 10 for NYs. We're all quite relieved and looking forward to it again.
The girlfriend I called is the sister of my dialysis friend. Dialysis friend is not doing well. She's dying. The sister said it tonight for the first time. She told her Mom that her body was worn out. Her fallopian tubes are infected and bleeding and she's too weak to have surgery. It breaks my heart. She's begun to prepare her two daughters. It's especially hard for them because their dad left them behind when he moved out west with his new young girlfriend and doesn't even call them. When he did call it was to tell them he couldn't afford to send them anything for Christmas. Fucking asshole! My wish for him this Christmas is that he gets everything he deserves. And now I'll go sing a Christmas carol while I write my Spa Report.
Sorry about your friend, Lights.
*fumes* and when was 911 girl going to tell you that she changed her plans? You did the right thing. Us bloggers give good advice.
I'm very sorrry about your dialysis friend and her family. My heart goes out to you and them.
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