Jehovah's Witnesses, Dead Hummingbird, and the QPP

Friday night we headed up to the cottage for the weekend. There were plans for a 40th Birthday party on Saturday night and we had friends coming to decorate the place after supper. While Dave got the fire going to warm the place up I picked up some groceries. We had received about 5" of snow overnight Thursday and Friday morning so it was a little sloppy to say the least. As soon as I got there I turned the oven on to make supper. Ten minutes later when I went to put the supper in, the oven was still cold. WTF! I had 20 people coming for a pot luck dinner the next day. This was not good.

Dave spent the rest of the night trying to fix it. We thought it had something to do with the automatic timer because I remember bumping the dial last weekend while cleaning up after cooking the turkey for Thanksgiving. He's a pretty handy guy and after about 4 hours of working on it he was getting a little frustrated so we called it a night. The decorations were up so we made toasted turkey sammiches (for the fifth consecutive day) and went to bed.

Sunday morning the sun came out and things looked good. I started making my contributions to the pot luck (crab dip, nacho dip and pasta salad - and wings that required an oven to cook). Dave headed to town to try and find a solution to the dead oven and take Holly for a haircut. By the time he got back I was cleaning up but still wearing a pair of green shorts and a white t-shirt with no bra. While he was in behind the stove I heard a knock on the door. Who could it be? None of our friends knock on the door. I ran to the bedroom and grabbed my red jacket and went to answer the door. Two women, dressed in skirts carrying briefcases. I knew exactly what they wanted. As soon as she started to pull out her Watchtower pamphlets I told her I wasn't interested. She was good about it and said another time maybe. Sure, when hell freezes over come on back. It was bad enough when I got a telemarketer calling me on the cottage phone, now Jehovah's at my cottage door! Is nothing sacred?

We never did get the oven working but decided that we'd make do. There was the BBQ, the oven in the camper and neighbors who would lend their oven if we needed it. The guests began arriving around 1:30 pm and the party started. One of the guests was out in the porch having a smoke and noticed something hanging off a fishing rod that was suspended from the ceiling. He asked Dave what the hell he was trying to catch using a dead hummingbird for bait. We thought he was joking but when we went to look, sure enough there was a tiny little hummingbird hanging upside down from the fishing rod with his little tongue hanging out. Poor little bastard. He must have got trapped inside and either starved or froze to death. So now we've got a dead oven and a dead hummingbird. No wonder the Jehovah's were at my door.

The party was going well. Lots of laughs, lots of drinks and TONS of food. We made do without the oven and a good time was had by all. We had a campfire going outside and some stayed inside out of the cold. The birthday girl's husband came in from the campfire and was totally hammered. Staggering and babbling and we were all getting a good laugh at him. For some unknown reason, as he was gettting ready to go back outside he picked up the phone and dialed 911 and then hung up. It's completely out of charactor for him and we were all quite surprised. Everyone gave him hell and told him you could get charged for doing that. He was too drunk to care at that point. The phone rang and he picked it up. He spoke french telling the caller that it was an accident and apologized. They asked him for his name and he didn't want to give it so he hung up again. At this point I'm getting a little ansty. He was laughing about it. How stupid did they think he was? No way he was giving them his name he said. Um, ya, like they don't now have MY name and address. I tried to pick up the phone but there was nobody there.

He finally went back outside and I started cleaning up dishes and putting food away. As we were doing the dishes everyone was still shaking their heads about him pulling this bonehead move. Next thing I know, someone tells me the police are at the door. Sure enough, two Quebec Provincial Police are standing in my doorway. This just isn't my weekend. Then I got a good look at the male cop and kind of hoped he'd frisk me and cart me off to jail. Hubba, hubba! He was HOT!!! As I'm trying not to drool he's asking me my name and birthdate. Suddenly I had this awful feeling that the birthday girl might think this had all been a set up and that the cop was really a stripper for her! I couldn't help but picture her coming over and trying to help him out of his bullet-proof vest. That would have been just my luck.

I apologized and said that it was an accident by a drunk and assured him that I wouldn't let it happen again. He was very nice about it and joked around with us a bit and then left with no damage done. He felt pretty embarassed about it the next morning and the birthday girl was pretty pissed at him but I told her not to give him too much of a hard time. I'm sure nobody will ever let him forget it.

This was the third 40th birthday party I've hosted at the cottage in as many years. Each party has had some sort of drama happen. This year we kept saying that it was to be a drama free zone. I guess someone didn't get the memo. *snicker* Anyone have a 40th birthday coming up? Want me to host the party?