Gather 'round kids, I've got a story for you!

So this morning Mean Jean comes to my office door and tells me that she has a lady coming in for an interview this morning and makes sure to point out to me that she's Chinese. Then she tells me that this lady applied for the accounting position she had advertised for a few months ago and that she wanted me to talk to her while she was here. I said okay and wondered why she would be interviewing this lady for a Sales/Purchasing/Inventory Management position when she had applied for an accounting position but I thought, what the heck, the sooner they find a replacement the better.

Later I was standing in the office when the Chinese lady arrived. I asked if I could help her and could barely understand a word she said but I knew she was there to see Mean Jean so I just went and got her. After their chat Mean Jean deposited the lady into my office. I offered her a chair and she sat then I picked up a list of questions that I had to ask her and mentioned that I had some questions for her and she jumped up and came over and took the list from my hand and started reading them outloud. I asked for the list back when she finished and began asking the questions. Most of them were about any prior experience she might have in the areas required for my job and each one was answered with a no. I then asked her what computer software she was familiar with and she didn't understand the question. By this point I was pretty sure that she wasnt' meant for this job but I continued with the questions to be polite.

She told me that she had worked in a manufacturing plant in China previously. I asked what they manufactured and all I understood was something involving tin. I asked her if she was good with Excel because many of my spreadsheets are Excel based. She didn't know what formulas were so I dropped that line of questioning. I had the feeling that while she could speak English somewhat, she really wasn't fluent and didn't really understand everything I was saying. To me that is a bit of a deal breaker in a position that requires phone and email communication with customers and vendors alike. She kept repeating something about China being a different culture. No shit Sherlock.

Once I figured that I had given her the required amount of time I deposited her back in Mean Jean's office. The talked some more and then went in to meet the boss. He was getting ready for a business trip and didn't have much time to spare so they didn't stay long. Next they went out to the shop and warehouse to tour around. Finally they ended up back at my office door. I'm thinking that Mean Jean was just going to let her say goodbye to me and that she would ask my opinion and then we'd interview a few more candidates and make a decision. But no, Mean Jean informs me that she had taken the lady out to the warehouse to look at all the parts and that she was impressed and thought she could do the job because she was good with numbers.

Mean Jean then tells me that she will be starting tomorrow morning at 8am. *thud* That was the sound of my jaw hitting my desk and then bouncing back up into place. I have never been so completely stunned in my entire life. I immediately looked around for Alan Fundt and his Candid Cameras because this was just way too bizzare to be real. I think I managed to keep my face from giving away my shock but I'm not really sure.

After the lady left Mean Jean didn't bother coming back to ask my opinion, she just went on her merry way confident that she had solved another problem with her superior hiring abilities. Once the initial shock wore off I went and spoke to the co-worker who is still trying to train the last "rocket scientist" that Mean Jean hired. The co-worker said she was going to speak to the boss. When she did, he immediately pulled her into Mean Jean's office where they closed the door and discussed the situation. Of course, I wasn't invited even though I had been the one to ask the important questions and it was me we were looking to replace.

Apparently this lady has been attending a practice company here in town in order to gain experience for the workplace. While I think that idea is great to prepare people for entry level positions, I don't believe that they prepare them for a position as critical as mine. I'm not trying to pat myself on the back, it's certainly not brain surgery, but it's definately not an entry level position either.

If she understood the language and could communicate proficiently I'd have no problem with her but that's just not the case. So after an afternoon of phone calls between the co-worker and Mean Jean they've decided not to hire her. I felt terrible for the girl. She was probably so excited about finding a job only to have the rug yanked out from beneath her feet before she even started. On top of that, they've been discussing the lack of progress that my co-worker's replacement is making and how poorly she's doing. They suggested that maybe they should find someone else for the accounting position and move the accounting girl that can't answer the phone over to replace me. ARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!

This is a new level of stupidity, even for Mean Jean. What the heck made her think that she'd find a suitable employee for a Sales/Purchasing job in the six month old reject pile of resumes for an accounting position? She has no idea what I do but she is too stupid to even ask. How the hell was I supposed to train a person who doesn't even understand english completely?

From what I understand now, they're going to post an ad on the local job board but that means they won't likely get any replies until the end of the week and that gives me four days to train someone. They are so fucked. *evil grin* Oops, was that my outloud voice?

*chants* It's not my problem. It's not my problem. It's not my problem. It's not my problem. It's not my problem.

I'm so happy I'm getting out of there but I do feel bad for my co-workers that will still be there. The semi-retired guy I work with has been threatening to leave too and he told me today that he's likely going to give them his notice on my last day. *tries hard to stiffle a giggle* Poor Mean Jean.